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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

What I’ve Learned as a Mom…

Granted, I’ve only been a mom for 14 weeks and 5 days (but who’s counting J), but already, I have learned a few valuable lessons that I wanted to share. Some you may be able to relate to. Some may leave you thinking I’m a teensy bit crazy. :)
  • Pumping bras are not REAL bras. The day before I went back to work, I realized I was in need of some items so that I could successfully pump at work. I had heard about hands-free pumping bras – although I had never seen one or knew how they worked. I ran to Babies-R-Us and picked up a few supplies including the pumping bra. When I got home, I unwrapped the box, excited to see this new little contraption that was going to be my new best friend at work. I pulled it out, looked it over, and thought…. “Hmmmm…. This doesn’t look that comfortable.” I shrugged my shoulders and went on with my day. The first day of work arrived and I put on this nifty bra. It felt weird, uncomfortable and the seams were in really awkward places. Never seen a pumping bra? Google it. Ya, I wore one of those ALL day my first day of work. I itched, pulled, tugged ALL day long. I kept thinking “HOW do women wear these every day? And can’t you see the seams through your clothing?” That first day I was selective with my outfit so that the seams couldn’t be seen, but I was worried this would severely limit my clothing options. After that first day though, I was done with the bra. Done! So the second day of work I went without the bra (I wore a normal one, don’t worry!). I held the pumps, which felt like such a waste of time. I didn’t think I could continue this whole pumping thing! Was I going to have to hold the pumps every time? Then I had the amazing, earth-shattering realization --- I’m only supposed to wear the pumping bra when I actually pump. Game. Changer.
    All you experienced mommas are probably laughing uncontrollably right now… or rolling your eyes… or thinking that you’re reading the blog of the dumbest person on the planet. And I can’t really blame you for any of that. But here’s the kicker… NO ONE TOLD ME!!!! Of all the wonderful mommas I know, NO ONE bothered to explain the logistics of pumping at work! So you soon-to-be mommas, or anyone who ever thinks they will be a momma in the future, take note. And just know, no matter what mistakes you make along the way, at least you didn’t wear a pumping bra on your first day back to work.

  • Dry shampoo is your new best friend. I’m a little late to this train. I had never used it until my wonderful SIL, Amanda, brought me a bottle at the hospital after having Silas. Holy freaking cow. Where has this been all my life? Goodness knows I don’t have time to wash my hair [every single day]? Ya right.
  • Things are going to change. I’m still working on this one. I struggle with change apparently, because this has been the hardest part for me. In fact, I struggle so much that I decided to break this into subpoints.
    • Change in marriage -- During the last few weeks of pregnancy I became increasingly more stressed about the change in family dynamic. Tyler and I had a pretty good thing going these past 10 years. He is my best friend and we genuinely enjoy just being together (as marriage should be!). We aren’t perfect, and we sometimes drive each other crazy, but overall get along incredibly well! I worried that throwing a baby in the mix might change things for the not-so-good. Silly, I know. Blame it on the hormones, but that’s what kept me up at night. Well I am here to say that things did change. A lot. And we are still trying to “find our groove” with Silas in the mix. But the changes that have happened are incredible. I get to see this man I love step up in to fatherhood and it’s a pretty stinking awesome thing. I have been able to experience the absolute unconditional love from my husband while I’m teetering on insanity. Despite my crazy mood swings and high demands, he has helped with a smile on his face.
    • Change in body – Ok, this one basically sucks to talk about. Friends would say things to me like “Say goodbye to your body as you know it!” all during my pregnancy. I thought this comment was rude and certainly unsolicited! How do you know my body is going to change? I would think. I could be one of those that just bounces back! Ugh! Well friends, they were right. And what I originally thought was rude, I know see as a kind, friendly warning to brace yourself. Brace yourself for the train wreck will be your body after baby. Now, maybe you’re in the .5% of people that still can rock that bikini after baby… and if so? I hate you. J Ok, I’m kidding. Seriously, that is awesome and I’d be lying if I wasn’t jealous. I say if you can, you should rock that bikini. I am just not going to join you! I’m having a “let’s get real” moment here, and it’s not easy to say all of this, so bear with me. This has probably been one of the hardest parts of post-pregnancy for me. While I was overwhelmingly in love with this little baby, I was simultaneously grieving. Grieving the fact that I knew I would never look the same again. I was (and still am) learning how clothes fit me now. What styles, sizes, etc, I should or shouldn’t wear. I find myself tugging, tucking, pulling and adjusting clothes a lot more now, simply because I want to make sure every inch of my body is covered. :) And it’s just a bigger deal than I expected. People said my body would change. I just didn’t expect it to be as painful or difficult of an adjustment as it has been.
  • When you’re not feeling cute, buy something. Ok so this is probably not a great pattern to get into. And could become a bit dangerous for your wallet – so this is all within reason. BUT, I will say, when I have been feeling a little less than cute, a simple purchase here or there has really helped me out! A new haircut? Check. New eyeshadow? Check. New top or necklace? Check check check. So even though I may not feel good about what’s going on under the clothes and makeup, at least I can distract with a super cute top from Target, right? Just don’t tell Tyler!
  • You will eat your words. Case and point – snot suckers. Other moms have been talking about the most disgusting thing I had ever heard of – a tube connecting your mouth to your baby’s stuffy nose. In essence, you suck in and the boogers come out. Gag. Me. Please. Horrified, I swore I would never. NEVER. use one of these inhumane contraptions. Well, two weeks with a stuffy nose, and Silas was sounding worse than ever. And what do you know? I ran to Target and picked up one of these torture devices. I caved. I bought. I sucked. But by golly, his nose was clean as a whistle. So suck it. ;)
  •  You just, quite simply, can’t get enough. Over the years, and especially during pregnancy, I heard over and over about moms with children weren’t “good” sleepers. They needed to be nursed to sleep, rocked to sleep, co-sleep, etc. I have friends that would spend hours trying to put their little ones to bed at night! How horrible, I would think. What a burden. I promised myself I was going to do my best to get my baby as sleep-independent as possible from the earliest of ages. Well, my baby isn’t the worst sleeper, but certainly isn’t the best either. But what I can say is on the nights that he’s a little fussy and takes extra time to fall asleep, I gladly and joyfully rock him, nurse him, whatever it takes. Those nights where he fights sleep and I end up going in his room 3+ times to rock him back to sleep? I do it with a smile on my face. Sure, it’s tiring. Of course, I’m exhausted. But I don’t care. And THAT is the thing I didn’t understand before. I assumed these moms that had “bad” sleepers, or babies that were fussy, were burdened. That their little one’s demands were too much. But they aren’t. I WANT to be the one to rock him to sleep, or go back to rock him to sleep for the fourth time. When he wakes up every 2 hours, sure I’m crazy stupid tired. And the next morning you betchya I’m running full steam to the nearest Starbuck’s. But I love it. And I’m definitely not burdened. I am blessed beyond measure!
So these are just a few little things I’ve learned thus far… I know I’ve forgotten like a million other things. And I will continue to add to this list! That’s the awesome/scary thing about parenthood – we never know it all!

1 comment:

Cara Linn said...

Thank you for this, friend. :) Honesty has been my favorite kind of advice, so far. Excited to read and learn more from you before little one gets here in February!

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